a whole lotta love over here

 ^^she was annoyed with me for wanting a photo with her...i'm not sorry^^

^^this boy is ridiculously in love with this girl.^^

we said 'good-bye' to our obnoxious and annoying pet rabbit last week. being that i was the only one who took care of him and clementine has priority, we decided to take it back to the pet store. roman was only a little broken up over it. not near as bad as i thought he'd be. i think suggesting a photo to preserve the memory softened the heartache a bit.  plus i hear scooter already has a wife with gorgeous beady red eyes. lucky rabbit. 

happy thursday!

Clementine Eulalie ::a birth story::

part one.

here we are, the week of valentine's day, and i'm just now getting my crap together long enough to write the story of my daughters birth.  in a way, it feels silly writing about a scheduled c-section, seeing as how it's more 'predictable,' but there were still so many emotions involved and i don't want to forget how far we've come on our journey to meet this precious life.  

two weeks before her birth i went all nesting-on-crack on everyone.  in that span of time i sought out, found and purchased a dresser for her room. sanded, primed, painted and chevroned said dresser with the help of a great friend {whom without i'm positive it wouldn't have turned out as amazing as it did, or even gotten done. thanks beth! xo}, found a crib on craigslist and went to pick it up with another great friend on our way to supper in des moines, put the crib together by myself that night, purchased a mattress the next day as well as  fabric for crib sheets. made yet another great friend sew three crib sheets for me, i made eight burp cloths, went shopping for nursery wall decor, found some cute wooden birds and modge podged scrapbook paper on them, bought more fabric and sewed a couple gauze swaddle blankets...and made a feather stamp from a potato and stamped one of them.  

exhale. 

i think that covers most of it.  there's nothing like a deadline to get you motivated. her room is still not completely done, though. i'm not entirely satisfied with the wall decor so i'll be adding to it here and there. plus her windows are begging for some curtains. good thing she doesn't sleep in there yet. :) 

fast forward to january 23rd.  coming off of four hours of sleep the previous night, you'd think i would have been tired.  i was. i let the boys watch a little too much kipper the dog that morning so i could rest on the couch. don't worry, they didn't mind.  and as soon as i got my butt up i made sure to take special notice of the little things the boys did because this was my last day with just them.  it was an ordinary day. we ran last minute errands, ate lunch, took naps, pitched fits and packed bags. but at the same time it wasn't ordinary. it was the last day of this particular routine. we had been counting down the days to their sleepover at grandma's house and talking about how mommy will be in the hospital for a few days and won't be able to see them {flu policy at the hospital, thank goodness for face time...i missed them like crazy!} and while roman understood for the most part, i was hoping viggo would have a roll with it kind of disposition.  leaving them made me nervous. not because we were just leaving them for an overnight with the grandparents, but because when we reconnected, life would be different. good different, but different nonetheless.  

that evening we loaded all the boys' stuff up in the van and met jeff's parents at el azteca for a celebratory supper.  afterwards we all headed to jeff's parents house and hung out there for a little bit.  i was trying to soak in every last second with my boys.  we switched car seats out and i went through our nightly oiling of the feet with jeff's mom.  roman and viggo had gotten small colds earlier that week so i had brought every essential oil cindy could possibly need...with instructions on use, of course.  we had been praying hard against illness {specifically the flu} in the weeks prior to this moment, so i was on high alert with the defenses.  around the boys bedtime jeff and i hugged and kissed them a little extra, and took on last family photo of just the four of us, and hugged and kissed a little more, then we were off.  when we got home i sat in our empty home marveling at the fact that we were hours away from meeting this new life. a new life that, at several points along the way, we were sure we wouldn't get to meet until heaven. we packed our bags for the hospital and jeff went to bed.  i tried falling asleep, but i was consumed with thought. it took more than an hour for sleep to finally make its appearance. and then i was up before the alarm.  

just popping in

whoa. hey life, can you calm down just a little? between doctor appointments, finishing up christmas shopping {and wrapping!}, and day to day tasks with a two and four year old, my days have merged with the next and time is slipping out of my grasp. and then add pregnancy brain on top of that. it's fun over here. speaking of christmas, tomorrow is christmas eve already! what?! i cannot wait to wake up on christmas morning with my littles and watch them unwrap their gifts, and have a christmas breakfast {still need to figure that out}, beginning holiday traditions with the boys, and spend the day with extended family. this year, thanks to pinterest, i'm starting a christmas eve surprise box tradition.   i've filled a box, wrapped of course, with new jammies for each boy, a board game, a new christmas book, and other odds and ends.  how fun it will be to come home from church tomorrow night and have this big box for them to open. and what's more fun than opening a box filled with goodies to unwrap!?  unwrapping is the best part.  i plan on wrapping all their stocking stuffers as well because it's just that fun.  eeep! so excited!

next order of business...

we have figured out a way to keep viggo from tearing off his diaper during nap and bedtime. packaging tape.  it's become routine in my home at nap and bed time to secure viggo's diaper with clear packaging tape. wrapped all the way around him. viggo actually thinks it's awesome. he loves having it done and cooperates so well, usually smiling and watching us as we do it.  he loves tape, so i can only imagine his excitement to be able to wear the stuff all night long.  and mama does just a little less laundry. win-win.

roman has adjusted to being four quite well.  now that he's four he is just more capable...i guess. so he says.  everything he can do now is because he's four. whether it's getting himself dressed, eating a certain number of bites of food at meals, jumping off the couch. you know. four year old things.  it's pretty fun so far.

and in sister news, whom i now like to call our little snow bunny, a few developments have emerged. first of all, the name we chose for her has been claimed by another family we know {we did not tell our name to said family, so they have no idea}, and now we are looking for another name.  it's difficult to unattach yourself to a name you've been calling your child for the last several months, but this family also has a son named something close to roman, and i just can't have it.  it would just be too weird for me. we're pretty sure we've landed another first name, but now to string it to a middle name.

we also had a doctor appointment this past friday. in the two and a half weeks from our last appointment, sister went from two pounds three ounces to three pounds eight ounces {i'm glad all that extra eating i've been doing has been worth it!} but has also developed some swelling in the lower half of her body. legs, hips, & feet.  we don't know what's causing it but it's something that needs to be watched closely. i will start weekly appointments from here until the end of the pregnancy which, we learned, could be sooner than later.  if friday's appointment shows more swelling, due to the risk of hydrops occurring,  i will be given a round of steroid shots {two total in 24 hours} to mature her lungs enough for survival outside. usually delivery happens a few days after the steroid is given, which means sister could be coming shortly after new years. so... there's that. there is now a heightened sense of 'oh crap we've got to get things FIG-URED OUT!'  of course, there is also the chance that the swelling could stay the same or go down, and in either case would not merit immanent arrival of baby. which would be great. but whatever God wants to do is fine with me. i just hope he helps figure out the logistics of me being in dsm with snow bunny and jeff and the boys being at home, with jeff going to work at four in the morning.  i believe we will need a live-in for a while.  but we can't really plan anything until we know more on friday.  so we wait...some more.  and while we wait we will enjoy celebrating the birth of our savior. thank goodness for hope.

i sure hope your have the merriest christmas!

xo

stream of consciousness

my mind is a mess of thoughts. there are so many things i want to share with you all, however, i am unable to string it all together in a way that would make sense. so my remedy for that will be to give you bits and pieces of everything that's been going on with us lately. 

*****

i can't post photos on this here blog anymore without, apparently, buying more storage space. and due to my lack of knowledge in the realm of everything that has to do with blogging, i don't know if it's something that can be fixed without actually purchasing more or what. and also, my computer is a piece of crap...that i rarely have anymore since jeff needs to use it for work now. if anyone's wondering, he and i would both love a mac. just throwing that out there. 

*****

this is going to be so boring without photos. 

*****

roman turned four. four! i'm not sad about it. three was a very trying year for both he and i, and i couldn't be happier it's over. sounds awful, but let's just say we both learned a little more about pushing boundaries with each other. 

i'm so excited for his fourth year of life. he is one hilarious kid who loves star wars and acting out the scenes with his brother. he has a tender heart and still asks to snuggle with me quite often. i don't hate it.  i can see how he is figuring out this coming-into-your-own thing.  and one thing is for sure. you get him around his friends and all of a sudden he comes alive in a completely different way than at home with me. it's so awesome. 

*****

i've been wanting to learn something new for a while now. to challenge my brain in a way that's not related to supper plans. i need to learn how to use my camera and i'd love to learn photoshop and illustrator. anyone willing to teach me?

*****

viggo is a little nudist. he undresses himself two to three times a day- typically at nap and bed time. every night before i turn in it's become routine for me to check on him and make sure he's not sans clothes. during the day is when he likes to remove his diaper from time to time as well. 

i love his age. two has to be my favorite age. still baby enough yet old enough. just the right balance. and the talking. for goodness sakes how i melt whenever he talks. everything he says is so delicious and i could just listen to him all day long. 

*****

we are 30 weeks into the pregnancy with Sister. 30 weeks already. this is fantastic news. it's no secret i am not an i-love-being-pregnant kind of gal. in fact, and it's taken me a while to accept this but, it is one of my least favorite things.  and to know that we are two short months away from being done forever? well, i would do a cartwheel if i could. that's not to say i am not incredibly thankful for the ability to get pregnant easily and enjoy the blessings of my children. but it is literally my least favorite thing. i don't want it to be, but it is. 

now with all that said, we had an ultrasound yesterday and yay for good news!

here's the run down: she weighs two pounds and three ounces. hello small one. our dr. guesstimated her birth weight to be in the five pound range. roman was six pounds fifteen ounces and i felt like he was the smallest ever, so, five pounds will be weird. i literally went into my kitchen and found our five pound sack of flour and held it for a minute or two.  we also learned that one of her kidneys is larger than the other. we don't know why or if it will correct itself, but they'll monitor it and if it ends up not working at all, as long as her other one works fine (which it appears to be doing) there's no need to worry too much about it. people live with one kidney all the time.  our dr. didn't mention any concern about her heart this time and the hygroma is tiny. you actually have to search for it now. and the fluid around her skull is gone. can i get a woot woot!? this is great news. she is our little miracle. 

as far as delivery goes, obviously the longer she can bake the better, however if there are no complications between now and her due date we're most likely looking at 38 or 39 weeks for her arrival. that would put her making her appearance the first week of february. i have two months left, at best. enter time to get my butt in gear. there are freezer meals to be made, clothes, shoes and accessories to buy, a nursery to prepare. nesting hasn't kicked in yet, so i apparently feel as though i have ample time to accomplish such enormous tasks. 

we are so excited to meet her. from her ultrasound photos she is the cutest little thing ever. she is a feisty thing with the crazy amounts of triple sow cowing she does.

in conclusion, there are three things that make me very, very, very happy. one: ice. i'm not exaggerating when i say i buy 15 pounds of artic blast ice from swift stop every two weeks or less. jeff told me this morning my ice chewing is out of control. i think it's just fine. two: orange juice. i probably consume a gallon of simply orange orange juice in less than eight days. and three: the smell of my basement....and e-free church. kid. you. not. i know, i know. weird and probably to some of you, gross. but if a trip to the basement is all i need to have a happy attitude then i have never been more eager to do laundry in my life. 

i hope you were able to follow along at least a little bit. I apologize if it jumbled and you lost interest. it would have been better with photos...

doing a happy dance.

i literally just got off the phone with jeff, holding back tears of joy. and right before that with our doctors. the blood test i had done last week not only came back sooner than we expected it to, but had even better news to share.  the words, "hi sarah, your blood work came back negative for trisomy 13, 18, and 21" are the best words i have heard since the beginning of the month.  this in and of itself is God's doing.  We praise Him for this wonderful news, and we thank every one of you who have been diligently praying for us and this sweet baby. and encourage you to keep on praying.  

there's still a chance (if we're having a girl) that baby could have monosomy x- turner syndrome. they didn't order that test with the others so all the blood sample has been used.  this means i have to wait until our next appointment to have more blood drawn, which, given the hope of today's news, i'm okay with waiting for now. and to put the cherry on top, they were able to move my next ultrasound up from september 19th to the 14th!  so five days sooner to have a detailed ultrasound to see how baby's heart and other organs are doing and to monitor the hygroma and hydrops. 

what we are praying happens is baby's lymphatic system corrects itself before his/her heart gives out.  these next few weeks are crucial to that.  if by twenty weeks (i'm sixteen weeks today) all fluid has resolved and the cystic hygroma has, at least, shrunk in size, this baby has a great chance at a normal outcome.  

keep praying!! He's listening!

unexpected news.

to process everything that has happened since last monday seems daunting.  all the unknowns that come with the unexpected diagnosis of our unborn baby is overwhelming. google can either be your worst enemy or best friend in this kind of situation.

there is something called cystic hygroma. i've never heard of it until now, never read so much on it until now and never worried about the baby in my belly more until now.  when i envision this little person, i picture the perfection of my boys at their births. their smooth pink skin, perfect wrinkly feet, long lean bodies (that quickly plumped all the way up by two months), their beautiful cries,and alert round eyes. healthy.  but i now know that this sweet thing growing inside of me will be different. he or she will probably not look like my boys did. he or she will most likely have lots of medical needs.  a growth on his or her neck could mean  Down syndrome or Turner syndrome, heart defects, surgery after birth, and, i'm sure, a whole host of other things we're unaware of.  we're not sure the extent of things yet. it could even dissolve by twenty weeks. it's a small glimmer of hope, but hope nonetheless.

you never think something like this will happen to you. especially after losing a baby not long before.  sure you hear about it happening to other people, even those close to you. but not you. it's a lot to take in in a short amount of time.

two weeks ago we had our first prenatal appointment.  our midwife couldn't detect a heartbeat with her doppler so we had a quick ultrasound which confirmed that, yes, there is a life inside of me.  the doctor who did the ultrasound (not a tech) thought he noticed some fluid behind the neck of the baby so he wanted us to have a legit u/s done the next monday.  during that appointment it was confirmed that baby had a cystic hygroma on the back of it's neck and also a little fluid around the ribcage. we are headed to the specialists in des moines this wednesday for a more detailed ultrasound.  and that's where we're at.  prayers are greatly coveted.

in other news. roman really wants baby to be a sister (not a girl, a sister). he's already in love with it.  when we told him it might be another brother he said, 'i don't want another brother.' which makes me giggle. it seems as though he just wants a little sister to love and protect. so sweet that boy is.  love him.

dreaming of february

we are thrilled!!

the fourth.

we had a fun fourth! the day began with free pancakes and fun downtown, followed by the parade where we met spiderman (!), then home for naps, and an evening at mimi's house where viggo practiced his cartwheels and roman raced through the sprinkler. we were too tired to stay up for fireworks. even forgot to do sparklers. oh well. next year! 

finally, an udpdate!

oh my friends, i'm sorry for my lack of writing the last few months. there has been a ton that has happened in that time and all i can think to do is give you a brief update. but first, let me tell you something. on my keyboard, the letter 'p' takes an extra effort to get to work, and dude, it's annoying. and now you know.

anyway.

texas.
 we headed to texas at the end of may to visit one of my favorite friends.  we stayed with erika and her sweet family for five days and it was so refreshing for my soul. we hadn't seen each other in two years and i am so thankful to jeff for letting us take a trip to see her. the boys did amazing on the flight to and from (coming home our flight left at 7:15, so we had to get everyone in the car by 4:30am!), as well as adjusting to new a sleeping environment and different schedule.  there were a few days where they didn't get naps at all, but that's what vacation is all about, right? we had such a great time. pictures to come.

a couple new pets.
a week or so after we came home from texas the boys and i went to the berry patch farm with some friends of ours. we picked ten pounds of strawberries. this was no easy task since i had two helpful eaters, rather than pickers. on our way home we spotted a turtle crossing the gravel road. so we did what any sensible person would do. we pulled over and adopted it. roman promptly named it frisbee and we took it home. turns our frisbee was an aquatic turtle and mama didn't want to mess with that kind of habitat so we swapped it for a box turtle, who was also named frisbee. well, let me tell you, i can kill a turtle. totally unintentional, of course, but frisbee didn't eat anything or drink much of what we gave him so he took a turn for the worst. we had planned on getting another one, but roman and i went on a date to the ark -is favorite place ever, and we came home with a mini lop eared rabbit. it took about a week to name him, but we landed on the name first name- scooter, middle name- racer. . he's adorable.

our backyard no longer sucks.
my dad was so gracious and bought the boys a swing-set. it's a nice wood one with a curvy slide and all. the boys adore it, and i now am not ashamed of how lame my backyard is. so thanks, papa!

a birthday, or two.
jeff's birthday is tomorrow! and  he's taking me somewhere for his birthday. how sweet is that? he won't tell me where we're going or what we're doing, but i do need an overnight bag. so. excited. and less than a month later we celebrate viggo's second birthday. it is the weirdest feeling because i swear he just had his first one. i've been procrastinating planning due to disbelief, but here's a clue- think 'down on the farm.'

now if you'll excuse me, there's a large load of clean laundry calling my name.
xo

one windy evening.

we had graduation open houses this weekend and at this particular one, out in the country, our hair was going all over the place.  thanks, husband, for such a great photo.

life, according to my iphone

if you've traveled with small kids, i need you now

in a little over a month my men and i will embark on the longest road trip three out of four of us have been on. we are headed to see my sweet friend and her adorable family in texas.  it's over seven hundred miles from here to there.

jeff and i took roman to nashville when he was a little over a year and he did wonderfully.  we made it there in a little over thirteen hours, if i remember right. now that we have a three year old and a one and a half year old {who is not one for long car trips} i think it's going to require a little more planning and creativity this time around.

to be quite honest, i'm freaking out a little worried with how viggo will handle his time confined in the car.  of course we plan on activities for them, but....what.  i've been all over pinterest trying to gather ideas, but what it comes down to is viggo is not a good traveler. not even a little.  he gets super antsy and simply refuses to sleep in his car seat.  for example:  several months back i had to, last minute, take the boys to spirit lake for my great uncle's funeral.  we left around 8:30am and my hope was that viggo would nap for some of the three + hour drive up there.  he fell asleep for ten minutes. TEN MINUTES.  didn't nap at all during the day and when we left to come home he slept for less than an hour.  i cannot go through this all the way to texas.  the flexible side of me thinks he'll just need to figure it out and let sleep happen. but the controlling side of me feels the need to find some sort of solution for this could-be-stressful time in the car.

I've also briefly entertained the thought driving at night, but again, that controlling side just doesn't know how that would go.

this is where you come in!

if you are experienced in traveling long distances with small children with one of those kids not liking travel much, i am begging you for your advice, tips and tricks.  

life, according to my iphone

a few of our days last week

every other monday i get to watch the sweetest, bossiest two year old little love.  ella hangs with us for a few hours while her older brother and mama go to their CC class.  we love having her here.

we had roman's preschool co-op here last week. in addition to the normal four three year olds i also had viggo, my neice who is six weeks older than viggo, and a dog.  it was a little nuts, but fun!  

we talked about the letter 'G' and transportation. so for 'g' we planted some wheatgrass in a garden each of the kiddos took home...because i like to let them make messes and what's more messy than dirt?

 after preschool, chiara hung out with us and her little brother joined us while their mama had a lunch date with a friend.  roman helped feed valor for about .3 seconds.  valor is the squirmiest eater ever. :)

roman is really into showing me what he's capable of doing. the photo below show's off his amazing talent. 

after naps on friday, jeff and i took the boys for supper and then finished the night off with the park.  it's fun to get out at dusk and skip bedtime.  the boys really love playing outside. after romping around on the playground we let the boys swing for a bit.  jeff was pushing viggo fairly high and you could tell by his giggle and breath holding it was tickling his tummy big time. so stinking cute. his eyes were watering and everything.   yay nice weather!

around these parts...

well, march is just about over, isn't it. i know i haven't been around in a while, so thanks to you who have been checking back every now and then!

a few fun things we've been doing--

brother hugs.  i tell you what, it is the sweetest thing to see those two love on each other.  viggo is typically pretty than willing to console roman should he be sad. roman asks for a hug from little brother usually if he's upset at me for not giving him what he wants.

we've been enjoying the crazy warm, dare i say hot, weather this past week. now i am asked forty bajillion times a day if we can go outside and look for worms. i oblige. roman adores worms.  viggo loves the outdoors too, though he's less likely to stay close. he has his own agenda for spending his time in nature.

we were blessed by a friend and received a small plastic slide for the yard. viggo is absolutely all about it. he's the perfect size for it, too! roman uses it every now and again, but he's still mostly focused on finding as many worms as he can.  we also have a sandbox turtle that the boys have been playing in. however, a few weeks ago a great wind caught the turtle shell and took off with it. i still haven't found it so now the sand is more like a beach.  i think i'll dump the sand out eventually.

viggo's pone. i love it.

a not so fun thing we've been doing--

viggo came down with rsv last thursday. it was awful. he was the most sick he's ever been in his life.  he would cough so hard he'd throw up anything that was in his stomach. absolutely broke my heart.  after our trip to the doctor he was put on a nebulizer treatment three times a day.  thank goodness for those things!  he's on day three without needing a treatment, and no cough to hear of anymore so he is healthy once more. yay for health!