emotional times of a weaning mom

First things first, Roman is 8 months old today! Crazy!!

As my last post notes, I've heartbreakingly decided to wean Roman from nursing, onto formula. When we found out that Roman is allergic to 3 of the 8 top allergies, peanuts, egg, and milk, our lives instantly changed. Well, mine did at least. Since then I have spent countless hours researching his allergies & finding information.

What I have discovered is if I want to continue nursing Roman, I would have to give up ALL FOODS that contain milk, peanuts and eggs. Do you know what that leaves? Nothing!!! Well, some things, but BARELY anything. Go to www.foodallergy.org and you can do some research yourself :). I would list all the ingredients I would need to avoid, but that would be about a page of information, which you don't really about enough to care to read... :). As much as I love the idea of giving up all dairy, eggs and peanut (pb&j...) I don't think I can. I've wrestled with myself, and God over it, and have come to the conclusion to just to put him on some formula.

Now the question is: what formula??

With there being 18 million kinds of formulas out there, I had a pretty easy way to narrow it down. It can't have milk in it, and I don't want him on soy. I've done some research on that too, and found some disturbing facts about it, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjZs0DGW1Jk&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch%3Fq%3Dmercola%2Bsoy%26www_google_domain%3Dwww.google.com%26hl%3Den%26emb%3D0%26aq%3D0%26oq%3Dmercola%2B&feature=player_embedded and don't want to put it in my child. I've also considered goats milk... but it wouldn't be much different than cow's milk plus it lacks folic acid and iron. I can't remember exactly how I came across Neocate, maybe in a forum or on another website, but I decided to look into it.

Neocate is an amino acid based formula. What this means is that the protein molecules are completely broken down into their purest form, instead of being in a link or chain. As a result it is considered a hypoallergenic. What else is it contains NO MILK and is manufactured in a facility that is free of milk anything, so there is no risk of cross-contamination. Their website: http://www.neocate.com/aaa_neocate/1128-neocate-home-page.html, is quite thorough in describing in more detail why this is so effective. At this point, after a long night (i think we stayed up 'til almost 1am) of researching, I decided I was really comfortable with trying it out, so I looked up to see how much it costs. OH MY! If you were to purchase it from the website, a case of 4-14oz cans would cost you $140. Hello, Ebay! :) I found 2 cans for $40. Done! So I bought them and hopefully will get them later this week.

In the meantime, I decided to check and see if WIC would cover it. Cause if they did, we would get it at no cost to us! hot dang. I made a call, and found out that all i needed was a prescrip. from the doctor. Easy enough, right? Apparently not! I have been on the phone with McFarland Clinic the last 2 days, all day long. I wasn't sure if the prescrip. needed to be written by his pediatrician, or the allergist, so i called both. This is where my frustration kicks in big time.

For some reason or other, the allergy doctor was trying to get me to use soy (which i explained to them i didn't want to use) cause it's "cheaper", but funny, the pediatric dr advised i stay away from soy. And then they wanted me to try nutramigen (by Enfimil) or Alimentum (by Similac). Well, I was at target a little while ago and decided to look at the ingredients that are in Alimentum. Guess what I found. The 2nd ingredient is casein! This is a form of milk protein! So I asked the nurse to read me the ingredients in the Nutramigen and guess what she found. Casein. I rest my case. Not going down that road. :) The pediatric doctor the nurses spoke with told me that their problem with neocate is that it's high in calories and calcium, (for his age) to which i thought, 'well, can't I dilute it?' My mind is made up. We're using the neocate.

I'm still waiting on the doctors to fax over the prescription to the WIC department. It's frustrating to no end because I feel as though my breast milk is, in a way, poison to Roman. I know that's not realllly true, but it feels like it because it has all that he is allergic to, in it. This is why he doesn't sleep well, and grunts all the time, and is super gassy and always has a tummy ache. I don't know why the doctor doesn't feel like this is more urgent than he thinks it is, and it's quite irritating. If I can give Roman something that is safe for his allergies and relieve him of some pain, why not start NOW?!?

Anywho. I bought 1 can from the drugstore we use and plan on giving him a bottle of it today. Fingers crossed, but i have a good feeling about it. I aslo picked up his Epipen.... hope i never have to use it.

The last 2 weeks:

~Jeff and I decided that since our house has not sold, we should rent it out

~Roman had his allergy test: allergic to peanuts, milk eggs and dogs :(

~As a result of his discovered allergies, I have decided to start weaning him on Neocate formula (spent many many hours researching formulas and this is the best one out there for milk allergy)

~We got our house rented

~I've been going back and forth with the doctors trying to get Roman's formula coverd by WIC (seriously doc's, ALL they need is a prescription faxed to their office....can you figure that out?)

The next 3-4 weeks:

~Need to start packing the house up

~Need to find a storage unit that isn't ridiculously expensive

~Continue weaning Roman

~Aug. 19-26, Roman and I head to Texas to visit my good best friend, Erika, and meet baby Caillet for the first time! caaannnntttt wait! Roman is beyond excited.

~Need to pack the house up

~Need to move the boxes in which i will have packed to the storage unit that isnt ridiculously expensive

~Did i mention i wanted to have everything packed and stored BY august 19th???

~Move into the in-laws house (thanks for taking us in art and cindy!)

Needless to say, there's a lot going on with us right now. :)

Allergy Test

Roman had his allergy test last Friday (the 24th). I don't know if I should say it went well, or bad. But we definitely have some results.

Before they poked his back

After the pokes (his cry was suuuper sad!) :(

only a few minutes after they stuck him, his back started to show the results

This is probably only 10 minutes after. As you can see, he is allergic to peanuts, milk, egg whites, egg yolks and dogs. The most surprising one of them all was the dog allergy. (and it appears the peanut allergy is worse than even the milk allergy...which is scary)

Roman has a 90% chance of growing out of the milk and egg allergies, BUT only a 20% chance of outgrowing the peanut allergy. Looks like that one will be with us for a lifetime.

Our lives will now adjust accordingly. We will now carry an epipen wherever we go, just in case. Things will be pretty tricky at first, but with God's grace, we'll get into a groove.

So, if you have plans to hold my baby in the future, a couple things to remember:

~If you have eaten anything with peanut ANYTHING in it, or any milk products, or egg products and there might be residue on your mouth or hands or any other part of your anatomy, wash it first, as he is sensitive to that allergen coming into contact with his skin.

~Don't give him any foods that you may suspect, or are not sure has milk or peanut or egg in the ingredients. (there are hidden ingredients that may contain milk, peanut or egg in them). Roman will be a vegan for a while. :) Maybe just don't try to feed him at all. Let Jeff and I do that. That is where the most concern will be. Thanks!

allergic to what?!

Oh my. Where to begin.

In most recent news, Jeff, Roman and I spent Friday (the 10th) evening in the ER. I'll back up. Jeff and I dropped Roman off at my moms so we could go on a much needed , overdue date. I packed some formula-similac sensitive-cause i didn't know how much breast milk my mom had in her freezer. I've been wanting to introduce formula to Roman because I hate pumping. It's time consuming and i never know if i was going to pump 2 oz or 6 oz. So frustrating. So instead of stressing out about pumping enough for when i work on Saturday's, i thought having him on some formula would be a great alternative.

Jeff and i had a great date. Pancheros, coldstone, and a trip to Jax to get Jeff some arch supports. When we returned to my moms the horrible night began.

My mom had given Roman maybe 3 to 4 oz of the formula and had just finished a few minutes before we walked in the door. Roman was extremely tired and crying, but in addition to crying he was gagging. My heart starts pounding. The first thing that goes through my head is "what's in his mouth!?" He's been teething with a snotty nose and a cough that had developed the morning before, so we originally thought that maybe the gagging was due to some excess flem from that, on top of being waaaaay overtired. My gut, however, told me different. I felt sick to my stomach and didnt know how to help him. It was the worst feeling ever. After several minutes Jeff finally gets him to sleep. When he slepts, he didn't gag, but when he woke up, he did. I looked at him sleeping and notice he looked RED! Now, he had been crying pretty hard so part of me thought it was from that, but another part of me wasn't completely convinced.

After sleeping for maybe 20 minutes he woke up again and I took him from Jeff. He was red from head to toe. Something else is going on here. It sounded like he's still having trouble breathing/swallowing and right then I made the decision to take him to the ER. So, Jeff and I packede him up, and headed out! I should confess my sin of driving about 60mph down 13th street....Sorry about that.

We got to the ER, got checked in and waited. Now, why is it they make you WAIT in the EMERGENCY ROOM?!?!?! No clue. It was maybe 10 minutes (but felt like an hour) and the nurse called us back. She took Romans temp, weight, and got the information from us on what happened and what possibly caused this reaction.

Doctor Rathe came in (he was great...really liked him) and we went over once again what was different about the day. The formula. That was the ONLY difference. So, we conclude he's allergic to the formula. Roman received some benadryl (but not before he threw up all of the formula...that was messy), a steroid shot, and a nebulizer treatment (which he thought was kind of cool) because there was some wheezing going on. We arrived at the hospital around 8:30pm and left around 11:45pm. Roman was put on an oral steroid, prednisone, for a few days and benadryl as needed. That prednisone is some pretty serious stuff. We got the max dosage perscribable.

that's just a bottle of tylenol to keep him preoccupied....

not a fan of the steroid shot

neb treatment

Today we had a follow up appointment with dr. nau. I kind of gave him a run down on what happened (he had Ro's chart right there, so he pretty much knew already). I learned a few things from the doctor today. #1. Roman was having an anaphalxysis reaction to the formula (the hospital just called it hives....?) #2. Roman is most likely allergic to cow's milk (protein). #3. Dr. Nau said normally children grow out of this sort of allergy in their toddler years, however, most children who react to cow's milk protein don't react as badly as Roman did. #4. Roman will need to see Dr. Nassif for a food allergies test.

Roman will be getting an allergy test done next Friday, the 24th to determine for sure if it is indeed cow's milk he is allergic to. They will also do a slew of other allergens while we're there. The way they go about this procedure is this: take the allergens and poke my poor baby's skin (just under the surface) with it and wait about 15 minutes to see the results. whatever makes a mosquito-like bump = allergy.

I praise God for healing Roman and not allowing a worse situation to have happened. I praise God for our doctors who were able to use their God-given knowledge to give Roman the necessary treatments that, inevitably i think, saved his life. I praise God for being in control.

Please pray for us! I'm somewhat an emotional wreck over the whole ordeal. Pray that Roman is a trooper during his test, as it will be pretty uncomfortable for him. Also pray for Roman as he is cutting a tooth currently, and is pretty cranky on top of everything else. Pray Roman doesn't have any other life-threatening allergies. Pray that we will feel God's comfort and control during this whole thing. Pray for me as I may have to create an entirely new approach to feeding Roman and introducing new foods that could take a lot of time/effort/knowledge. Also, pray for me because this might be the end of nursing for us. If he needs to be on soy milk products, I'm not sure I'll be able to handle the limited diet for myself, thus putting him completely on formula. (not excited about that possibility). Pray for peace. My heart is heavy. But above all pray for God's will to be done.

shame on you string bikini's

I took my little sister (almost 13) to wal-mart today to exchange a couple swimsuits she had because they were too 'adult.' When I say adult, I mean VERY adult. The designs were cute, but they were stringy. My mom instructed me to help her pick out an age appropriate bikini, and preferably a one-piece. Not a problem. Right?

Nope. Huge problem! My sister needs the top to have lining, but she is so petite that she can still fit into a girls size 12, or something. The problem was this: all the girls' suits were really stupid. the 2 pieces were not lined, and the one-pieces were pretty much all spongebob squarepants. who would wear that?!?!?! So, we decided to see what the ladies department had. All they had were string bikini's!! I was SO irritated! Soooo immodest! I would NOT have my 12 year old sister wearing something like that. Target would for sure have something better, yes?! NO! It was the SAME problem there too!

I feel the need to protect my sister's innocence. This world is so ready to gobble her up and brain wash her thinking and it disgusts me. I want her to desire to live a Godly life and that means modesty! (*i asked her if she knew what modesty was and she said no, so I explained it to her*). Therefore, I'm going to find a suit for her. :)

Happy 7 Months!!

The Latest:

~weighs in at 23lbs 13 oz (as of last Wednesday), not sure of his length

~Can fit into a size 24 months shorts, although they look a lot like ankle capri's on him...

~wears 18 month shirts

~still in a size 4 diaper, surprisingly

~Is rolling easiest from back to tummy. it happens almost immediately after I lay him down.

~Eats oatmeal for breakfast most days, but only if paired with a fruit, such as applesauce, and tries a new food every 3 days. Today and the next 2 are pears! He loves them so far!

~Nurses exclusively (with the exception of Saturday's when i work for a few hours)

~mom is the only one who can put him to bed at night. everyone else can forget it

~kicks his feet ALL the time, and watches it too. He thinks it is the coolest thing ever. (mom loves it too)

~Loves to dance when dad plays his guitar

~really enjoys the pool if it is luke warm to warm water only...

~doesn't like to be held by people he doesn't know, or at least without mom in sight

~sits up really well! he's getting there! still learning to stabilize all 24 pounds in such a compact body

~is allergic to cats

~talks ALL the time! still loves "bah bah bah" and loves when you do it back to him

~holds his mouth open for long periods of time without saying anything- its pretty hilarious!

~sleeping through the night, for the most part, now we're going to work on naps!

~still co-sleeping with mom and dad

~mom finally lets him play with other babies in the nursery at church (3 weeks in a row so far! woot woot!)

I love you, Roman, with all my heart! God has given us a great gift in you. Thank you for being such a great baby!! You are so stinking fun right now! I can't wait to see what the next months will bring!

did he get ANY good from me?!

My poor little baby. He got all the crappy things from me. Sensitive skin (as you saw in the previous post), and now allergies.

Last week I was privileged to be a labor coach for a friend of mine from high school. She had a beautiful baby girl, Elana Rose. Wednesday, Roman got to spend a few hours at my moms while I went to Sarah's (my friend) at her request to help give Elana her first bath. It was so awesome and weird at the same time. Awesome because i guess I'm a somewhat 'seasoned' mother, but weird cause Elana is SO SMALL!! And what's weirder is that Roman was smaller than Elana when he was born... now look at him! :)

Anyway. Sarah has 2 cats and a dog. What I forgot is that I'm allergic to cats, although, I remembered as soon as my lips began to itch and feel as though they were on fire! I can take it though. I'm used to it. Yeah, it's uncomfortable, but whatever. What I failed to realize is that I would be covered in cat-ness all day, thus transferring it to whomever and whatever I came into contact with that day.

I get back to my mom's house and forget all about the cats until I notice Roman rubbing his eye profusely. I was about to cut my mom's hair when I looked over at him and dropped everything. His left eye was swelling and he had welts all over the place. I immediately called first nurse and she told me to take him to the doctor right away. I called the doctor, told them his symptoms and was told a nurse would get back to me. Feeling a sense of urgency, I asked how long it would take to get a call back and the receptionist told me that she would make it a priority. Well, I wasn't about to sit and wait for a phone call (sometimes it takes them a while to get back to you)! I packed Romans things up, got him in his car seat and drove to the clinic. We got in right away, but not with our normal pediatrician -which I wasn't tooooo thrilled about, but I'd rather get right in.

I explained to her that I'm allergic to cats and I had been around them and have a gut instinct that this is what is causing the reaction. She looked him over and determined that he has PINK EYE!!! what?! are you sure? are you serious?! are you sure? really? hmm. I was and still am skeptical about his diagnosis. She told me that if it were an allergic reaction to cats that it probably wouldn't be localized in just one eye, and the tissue underneath (inside) his eye was super red which is consistent with pink eye. (yeah, but he's also been rubbing it for the last 45 minutes to an hour...). I kept asking her if she was sure it was pink eye. She kept saying yes. I kept telling her that I'm allergic to cats, and this hasn't happened ever before, and the only difference in the day was Roman being exposed to cats, through me. She told me again that it was pink eye. !!!!!! ok fine. Instead of prescribing the usual eye drops for it, she wanted to put him on amoxicillian. Weird, but okay. I guess that saves me the trouble of trying to put eye drops in his eyes. thanks.

So we leave and head to the drug store to get his medicine. I decided to ask the pharmacist what he thought (knowing he couldn't diagnose anything...but just for some perspective). And I talked to my friend Laura who is a pink eye expert. ;) (2 babes = lots of pink eye). She said it didn't sound like pink eye, and the pharmacist agreed.

In any case. Roman is on antibiotics for 5 days, cause apparently he has pink eye.

I now know how it feels to know your child better than anyone, and not have the person who can pretty much save a life (doctor), listen to you. It is the most frustrating feeling in the world.

*Oh and by the way, as I was packing things up to leave the doctors office is when the nurses finally called me back....*

at the doc's in the waiting room-what you don't see is that it's incredibly red and still has welts all over, but you can see how swollen it was. :(

before getting checked

on the way home.