Clementine Eulalie ::a birth story::

part two.

{photo by haleigh steere}

i rolled over and peered at the clock. 4:53am. i scolded my body for not allowing me those seven extra minutes of sleep, but i was wide awake anticipating the day. my girls birth day. i laid in bed until the alarm went off and jeff got up. i took note that everything i did on this day would be the last time i'd ever do it while pregnant; forcing myself out of bed with a very round belly, the pain of my loosened joints and the weight of my girl, feeling her triple sowcow inside of me. there are some not so great things about pregnancy as well. for example, the slight growth of my nose from the extra fluid and the only comfortable thing to wear being leggings or my favorite black and white striped skirt. oh, and the feeling of running a marathon after going up a flight or stairs. i probably wont miss those things.  

i dressed for the day in said leggings, a tank top and a too-short-to-wear-at-37-weeks-pregnant sweater, applied my make-up and packed up the car. i looked around one last time and marveled at the fact that when we would return, there would be five of us. 

our drive to des moines felt surreal.  we were going to have a baby in a matter of hours but i wasn't in labor. that was a bizarre concept for me to grasp. jeff and i talked about what we were anticipating happening, praying that this sweet life wouldn't need nicu care or surgery or anything we were told could be a possibility.  

we arrived at the hospital, parked, and headed up to the labor and delivery floor to check in. once all the paper work was done we were taken to a pre/post- op room where i 'gowned up' and my nurse started poking me and strapping me to monitors and asking questions and giving me more papers to sign.  once i was all set we waited until the doctor came in and said it was time and he'd see us in a few minutes.

 {photo by haleigh steere}

 {photo by haleigh steere}

large amounts of antacids are disgusting. 
{photo: haleigh steere}

c-sections are no fun. i'm baffled at those to elect this procedure over natural. the recovery, for me at least, is brutal. and the tugging and pressure and pulling during the whole thing is terribly uncomfortable. but when i hear her cry...oh her precious first cries were amazing. i immediately started crying and then an emotion i wasn't expecting washed over me. i wasn't ready to see her. i was nervous about what she would look like, thinking she wouldn't look the way she should. i didn't mind them taking their time to assess her and i was a little jealous that jeff was at her side, only because i couldn't tell him how i was feeling.  i had to face this embarrassing fear alone. and then jeff brought her to me and i noticed her chubby little hand sticking out of the blanket and her beautiful swollen little face and i died.  girl looks like roman's twin. seriously.  we're a month in and sometimes i need to remind myself she is a she and not roman.

after spending a few moments with her and a chat with the nicu doctor, they took her to the regular nursery to finish their assessment. my doctor finished patching me up and i was wheeled back into my recovery room. so, all i did for this delivery was lay on a table and post op felt as though i had been through labor as well. i was exhausted. all i wanted was sleep...and to stop involuntarily shivering...mostly so i could relax and sleep. a couple nurses brought clementine back to me within an hour and we nursed. and it was perfect...aside from all the cords hooked up to me. that made it a bit awkward and i needed extra hands, but she nursed perfectly. after our little bonding the nurses took her back to the nursery...i think. i remember they took her away again, and jeff went with them, again, but i don't remember why. i was so groggy and tired.

{photos by haleigh steere}

it took a while, but once i was able to move my legs a little bit i was transferred to our post-partum room. it's odd how the hospital is set up. labor and delivery on the third floor, nciu on the fourth and post delivery on the second. i find it hilarious the way they took me down to our room.  it was this device that acted like a hammock. i was rolled onto it and then lifted up and wheeled to an elevator and to our room, then lowered down.  pretty handy piece of equipment.  we then began our four day hospital stay.

clementine went through a morning of tests the day after her birth. so much so she was exhausted and barely nursed the rest of the day. i am so proud of how well she did. we chatted with the pediatricians about the results of her tests and one of them even wanted to take photos of her to be able to teach his students about TS and also that they are not just a statistic. i was reluctant to consent because selfishly i didn't want my daughter to be a teaching tool-it was too painful, but jeff had no issue with it as long as it was to enlighten others. in the end, it never happened, and i'm grateful for that.

 jeff went home saturday morning to pick up the boys and i convinced my sweet friend haleigh to come stay the night with me. i didn't want to be alone. luckily she's awesome  and we had a slumber party and snuggled my girl in my double bed and watched movies. there ended up being some issues with clementine losing too much weight and i was so emotional about having to supplement her. i began pumping after i nursed her but still ended up needing to give her a bit of formula. thankfully haleigh was there to help me get through that because i was a mess over it. and my supply came in as soon as we arrived home, so the need for supplementing was no longer necessary.

the boys came to visit with jeff's parents saturday as well. i was able to see them briefly and could tell they wanted to be home and they missed jeff and me. i was ready to go home then, but because of clementine's weight we had to stay until sunday, and clementine almost had to stay until monday, but the pediatrician felt we were competent parents and would do what we could to get her weight back up and he okay'd us to go home sunday. all we needed to do was have a follow up appointment to have her weighed.

sunday finally arrived and i was aching to go home and be with my boys. haleigh left mid morning and it was just me and my girl. because of her weight and early delivery, clementine needed to go through what's called the car seat test. all that's involved in that one is she is buckled into her car seat for ninety minutes -i know, long right?- while hooked up to monitors to make sure she doesn't stop breathing. due to the incline of the car seat and her size, it's somewhat common for that to happen (mostly to premature babies, though). once again she passed with flying colors and we waited to be discharged. my dad picked us up and took us home and roman was ready to hold his baby sister immediately. it was a precious sight.

we are in love with this precious gift.

{photo: haleigh steere}